Dear...someone

I had a nice time giggling and talking with you the other day. I could tell that you were surprised at how much you enjoyed it too, and I hope that I'm not just flattering myself when I say that. You never did bother with me before. I am sincerely hoping that will change.

There was a time when I thought you didn't like me. No, you know what? I'm actually sure you didn't like me. I don't know what I did to deserve it. I had a sneaking suspicion it's because I wasn't smart enough for you. Fair enough. I'm not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. I felt hurt, though. You seem like a very interesting person. You are, in all honesty, the person I want to be. Smart, witty, and all that jazz.

I am not used to being...not liked, you know (is that sentense correct? screw it) which was why I felt hurt. The kids in my previous schools all liked me because I was this fat, but totally happy kid. Plus, I have fair skin. I was 'cute', and that was enough for them.

I guess I should thank you. Your indifference toward me in the olden days (our friendship has improved much since last year) strived me to be less of a spaz. At the same time though, I do realise that I am not perfect, you are not perfect, and neither of us will ever BE perfect. But there's nothing wrong in trying to be the best you can be, right?

I...just want acceptance, you know? I want to be in a friendship where I can feel completely secure of my 'place', not having to question anyone's loyalty, a friendship where I can just totally be. I don't want it to be one-sided, though. I refuse to call anyone a 'best friend' if they don't feel the same.

Note - Yet another 'emo' post, I know... don't look at me like that, you're guilty of it too! What's up with this year, eh, guys? Everyone is feeling down, and people from our campus keep getting their legs injured. Is it the music we've been listening to lately? Maybe we should revert back to boybands. Teh horror!

p/s - If you, somehow, by some miracle, managed to figure out who this post is about...SHUSH, ok? We can talk about it in msn, yahoo! or face-to-face, but NOT HERE. I don't know if that person reads my blog, but I do know that I do not want him/her to find out my thoughts on them this way. Thank you.